Like it. Love it. Hate it. Whatever. Just Enjoy it
 
HomePortalCalendarFAQSearchUsergroupsRegisterLog in
Share | 
 

 JOKES LANG PO

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
Go to page : 1, 2  Next
AuthorMessage
Puppy0316
NT addict
NT addict


Posts: 70

Join date: 2010-07-24

Age: 22

Location Location: Parañaque

Twitter Twitter: http://twitter.com/McRoben16

Mood:


PostSubject: JOKES LANG PO   Mon Aug 02, 2010 1:06 am


Q: Ano ang sinabi ni Satanas nang ipanganak AKO?
A: “Lintek! Isa na namang anghel ang ipinanganak.”
Q: Ano naman ang sinabi niya nang ipanganak KA?
A: “Oh, no! Hindi puwede ito! Ayoko pang mag-retire!”

[center]

[/center]
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Puppy0316
NT addict
NT addict


Posts: 70

Join date: 2010-07-24

Age: 22

Location Location: Parañaque

Twitter Twitter: http://twitter.com/McRoben16

Mood:


PostSubject: Re: JOKES LANG PO   Mon Aug 02, 2010 1:15 am


Sir: Inday wla maam mo,dun tau sa kwar2.
Inday:
wAt? r u nuts? 4 ur n4mati0n sir I intend 2 reserve my viRginity 4 d
person I truly lUv. f u think im an easy 2 get,cheap, slut.well,ur
barking at d wr0ng tree & wil u pls act like a pr0fesSional bc0z ur
s0 eEwWw.
Char lng siR, tara! excited nAkOh! Hehehe!
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Puppy0316
NT addict
NT addict


Posts: 70

Join date: 2010-07-24

Age: 22

Location Location: Parañaque

Twitter Twitter: http://twitter.com/McRoben16

Mood:


PostSubject: Re: JOKES LANG PO   Mon Aug 02, 2010 1:19 am

kuba: tinu2kso nila akng kuba! makapagaral nga ng karate.

5 m0nths l8ter

frend: gling m0ng magkarate ah.tnatawag kp rn b nilang kuba.?


kuba: hndi na, ninja turtle na!


TAMA!!!
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Puppy0316
NT addict
NT addict


Posts: 70

Join date: 2010-07-24

Age: 22

Location Location: Parañaque

Twitter Twitter: http://twitter.com/McRoben16

Mood:


PostSubject: Re: JOKES LANG PO   Mon Aug 02, 2010 1:25 am

BOY:dba matalino ka?

GIRL: Oo Naman.
















BOY: Eh bakit hndi mo ako kayang sagutin?

(Haha! Naks.. Pero w8 meron pa)







GIRL:Kasi nga matalino ako, at alam kong hndi ikaw ang tamang sagot..

hmm? wtf
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Puppy0316
NT addict
NT addict


Posts: 70

Join date: 2010-07-24

Age: 22

Location Location: Parañaque

Twitter Twitter: http://twitter.com/McRoben16

Mood:


PostSubject: Re: JOKES LANG PO   Mon Aug 02, 2010 1:26 am

Kpag pinipilit ka ng parents mo na umamin sa kasalanan mo,



e2 dpt mong sabihin,





"No person shall be compelled to be a witness against himself."

-PHILIPPINE C0NSTITUTI0N-
Article III,
Secti0n 17. Right Against Self- Incriminati0n


Safe k n, n0sebleed pa cla,
Hahahah. .
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Puppy0316
NT addict
NT addict


Posts: 70

Join date: 2010-07-24

Age: 22

Location Location: Parañaque

Twitter Twitter: http://twitter.com/McRoben16

Mood:


PostSubject: Re: JOKES LANG PO   Mon Aug 02, 2010 1:28 am



Pag c Pacman
nanalo s elekxn,
magpptayo
xa ng skul.

Pacquiao
University

n sh0rt.....

PAC U!

At ang twag
s mga
s2jante,



PACQERS.

haha..

Back to top Go down
View user profile
Puppy0316
NT addict
NT addict


Posts: 70

Join date: 2010-07-24

Age: 22

Location Location: Parañaque

Twitter Twitter: http://twitter.com/McRoben16

Mood:


PostSubject: Re: JOKES LANG PO   Mon Aug 02, 2010 1:30 am


Kung mayaman ka, meron kang "allergy"**
Kung mahirap ka, ang tawag dyan ay "galis" o "bakokang"**

Sa mayaman, "nervous breakdown" dahil sa "tension and stress"**
Sa mahirap, "sira ang ulo"**

Kung mayaman ka, "pneumonia" daw ang sakit mo**
Kung mahirap, "TB" yon**

Sa mayaman, "hyperacidity"**
Kapag mahirap, "ulcer" dahil walang laman ang tiyan**

Sa mayamang "malikot ang kamay", ang tawag ay "kleptomaniac"**
Sa mahirap, ang tawag ay "magnanakaw" o "kawatan"**

Pag mayaman ka, you're "eccentric"**
Kung mahirap ka, "may toyo ka sa ulo" o "may topak" o "may sayad"**

Kung mayaman ka at sumakit ang ulo mo, ikaw ay may "migraine"**
Kung mahirap ka naman at sumakit ang ulo mo, ikaw ay "nalipasan ng gutom"**

Kung mayaman ka, you are referred to as someone who is "scoliotic"**
Pero kung mahirap ka, ikaw ay "kuba"**

Kung ang señorita mo ay maitim, ang tawag ay "morena" o "sun tanned"**
Pero kung isa kang domestic na maitim, ikaw ay "ita" o "negrita" o "baluga"*
*

Kung nasa high society ka at ikaw ay maliit, ang tawag sa iyo ay "petite"**
Kung mahirap ka lang, ikaw ay "pandak" o "bansot"**

Kung socialite ka, ikaw ay "pleasingly plump"**
Kapag mahirap ka, ika'y "tabatsoy" o "lumba-lumba"...pagminamalas ka,
"baboy"**

Kapag mayaman, "fasting" ang hindi kumain**
Kung mahirap, "nagtitiis"**

Kung well-off ka at date ka rito, date ka roon, ang tawag sa iyo ay
"socialite"**
Kung mahirap ka, ikaw ay "pakawala" o "pok-pok"**

Kung mayamang alembong ka, ang tawag sa iyo ay "liberated"**
Pero kung isa kang dukha, ang tawag sa iyo "malandi"**

Kapag mayaman, "misguided" o "spoiled" ka**
Kung mahirap ka, "addict" o "durugista"**

Kung may pera ka, ang tawag sa iyo "single parent"**
Pero kung wala kang trabaho, ang tawag sa iyo "disgrasyada"*
*
Kapag mayaman at sexy, "fashionable" daw**
Kung mahirap, sigurado "GRO" o "japayuki" ka**

Ang tawag sa mayayamang puro gulay ang kinakain, "vegetarian"**
Habang kakaawa ang mahirap na " kumakain ng damo."**

Sa exclusive school, "assertive" ang mga batang sumasagot sa mga guro**
Pero pag ang mga mahihirap na bata ang sumasagot sa mga guro, ang tawag sa
kanila ay "bastos!"**

Ang mayamang tumatanda, "are graduating gracefully into senior citizenhood"*
*
Ang mga mahihirap ay "gumugurang"**
Ang anak ng mayaman ay "slow learner"**
Ang anak ng mahirap ay "bobo" o "gung-gong"**

Kung mayaman ka at marami kang kumain, you flatter your host who says,
"masarap kang kumain and I like you, you do justice to my cooking"**
Kung ghastly peasant ka eating the same amount in the same house, your host
will say to himself na ikaw ay "patay-gutom"**

Kung graduate ka ng exclusive school at sa ibang bansa ka nagtatrabaho, ang
tawag sa iyo "expat"**
Kung mahirap ka lang, ikaw ay "contract worker"**

Kung boss ka at binabasa mo ito sa office mo, "okay lang"
Pero kung ikaw ay hamak na empleyado lamang, ikaw ay" nagbubulakbol"...
kaya forward mo na agad ito dahil nasa likod mo ang boss mo!*

Back to top Go down
View user profile
Puppy0316
NT addict
NT addict


Posts: 70

Join date: 2010-07-24

Age: 22

Location Location: Parañaque

Twitter Twitter: http://twitter.com/McRoben16

Mood:


PostSubject: Re: JOKES LANG PO   Mon Aug 02, 2010 1:32 am

ANAK: tay, may manok sa kusina. Tinutuka ang bigas mo.
TATAY: paalisin mo!
ANAK: oi, alis ka daw! ayaw umalis eh
TATAY: takutin mo!
ANAK: awoooooo manooook!! May mumu diyan!
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Puppy0316
NT addict
NT addict


Posts: 70

Join date: 2010-07-24

Age: 22

Location Location: Parañaque

Twitter Twitter: http://twitter.com/McRoben16

Mood:


PostSubject: Re: JOKES LANG PO   Mon Aug 02, 2010 1:34 am

lumubog ang barko, patay lahat ng tao. Ita lang ang naiwan.
ITA: halika pating, kainin mo ko.
PATING: wag mo kong lokohin. Di ako tanga! Pusit ka!
wtf
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Puppy0316
NT addict
NT addict


Posts: 70

Join date: 2010-07-24

Age: 22

Location Location: Parañaque

Twitter Twitter: http://twitter.com/McRoben16

Mood:


PostSubject: Re: JOKES LANG PO   Mon Aug 02, 2010 1:35 am


pila-pila lang. Walang tulakan. Lahat tayo mkakalabas.









–TAE
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Puppy0316
NT addict
NT addict


Posts: 70

Join date: 2010-07-24

Age: 22

Location Location: Parañaque

Twitter Twitter: http://twitter.com/McRoben16

Mood:


PostSubject: Re: JOKES LANG PO   Mon Aug 02, 2010 1:36 am

Pedro: ang tapang talaga ni Paeng! Biro mo, tumalon sa eroplano nang walang parachute.
Leo: oh totoo? Saan mo naman nabalitaan yan?
Pedro: dun sa burol niya!
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Puppy0316
NT addict
NT addict


Posts: 70

Join date: 2010-07-24

Age: 22

Location Location: Parañaque

Twitter Twitter: http://twitter.com/McRoben16

Mood:


PostSubject: Re: JOKES LANG PO   Mon Aug 02, 2010 1:38 am

Kapag nagyelo ang celfon mo, Alaska ka na .
Pag mainit ang celfon mo, nasa Africa ka na.
Pag naglangis, nasa Saudi ka na.
At pag nawala celfon mo, welcome to the Philippines!!!!
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Puppy0316
NT addict
NT addict


Posts: 70

Join date: 2010-07-24

Age: 22

Location Location: Parañaque

Twitter Twitter: http://twitter.com/McRoben16

Mood:


PostSubject: Re: JOKES LANG PO   Mon Aug 02, 2010 1:41 am

bakit hindi tinatagalog ang NO ID NO ENTRY sa gate lalo n s paaraalan?
kc pg tinagalog yun, ang kalalabasan, "WALANG ID WALANG PASOK!" Yahoo! uwian na!
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Puppy0316
NT addict
NT addict


Posts: 70

Join date: 2010-07-24

Age: 22

Location Location: Parañaque

Twitter Twitter: http://twitter.com/McRoben16

Mood:


PostSubject: Re: JOKES LANG PO   Mon Aug 02, 2010 1:43 am

ano ibig sabihin ng SMART???
S-ending
M-essage
A-lways failes and
R-eceiving your
T-ext always late.
Buti naka-GLOBE tayo!!!! nyahaha
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Puppy0316
NT addict
NT addict


Posts: 70

Join date: 2010-07-24

Age: 22

Location Location: Parañaque

Twitter Twitter: http://twitter.com/McRoben16

Mood:


PostSubject: Re: JOKES LANG PO   Mon Aug 02, 2010 1:45 am


Hi,Promo from SMART
Keep texting me and win exciting prizes!!!!
3rd price: kiss my nose.
2nd prize: kiss my cheek.
1st prize: 30 min lips to lips.
Promo valid until I’m single.
Ano pang hinihintay mo??? Text na!!!!!

Back to top Go down
View user profile
 

JOKES LANG PO

View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 2Go to page : 1, 2  Next

 Similar topics

-
» jokes for the pub
» Collection of Green Jokes
» Jokes abt Indians
» Only in America jokes
» Gerard Butler Jokes About Trimming Jennifer Aniston's Bush

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Nautical-Twilight ::  :: -
Forums free | Art, Culture and Leisures | Twilight | © phpBB | Free forum support | Contact | Report an abuse | Free forums